All humans inherit stereotypes from our families, friends, teachers, media and more. We absorb them from a very early age, when we are utterly permeable,. and then they are reinforced by continuing messages from those around us. Getting rid of stereotypes can be the work of a lifetime, although the single fastest way to break through these oversimplified, dogmatic beliefs about a group of people is to live in the midst of them, so that we garner a wide range of friends and acquaintances that utterly belie the idea that “they” are all the same in some way. We are, after all, most susceptible to stereotyping about people we have little or no authentic personal experience with.
A simple popular model, which engages individuals on specific instances of stereotypical thinking, is below. The real work is in recognizing and owning to ourselves when stereotypes turn up in our thinking, then examining those thoughts/ideas, considering where in our environment and history they came from and how they affect our interactions and attitudes toward others. Having established that our initial reaction was a stereotype, we can then work see the actual individual(s) in front of us, without the judgements in the stereotype, and proactively discover how we can interact with them authentically for a positive outcome. Over time, we can largely extinguish the stereotype that is stuck in our mind, with enough opportunities for dealing with real people. We may never be perfect, but we can get better and better over time.
Moving Past Stereotypes – A Six Step Approach
1. Acknowledge that stereotypes exist.
2. Identify any stereotypes that you’ve internalized; recognize stereotypical thoughts.
3. Pause and take a second look.
4. Suspend pre-judgment; describe the behavior.
5. Be curious, learn more about the individual or group.
6. Choose behavior that enhances relationships.
