Our schools and community groups are routinely faced with the challenge of leading youth in discussions of diversity and discrimination. Many approach these topics with a focus on what is wrong and how discrimination permeates our society. While I think that we shouldn’t shy away from age-appropriate discussions of these problems, I believe that we can have a greater impact by spending the majority of our effort in facilitating children to be eager for relationships across difference.
One of the best ways is to lead with an element of positive experience with diversity. In this way, we can reinforce the idea that each of them already knows how to succeed in interacting with difference. A classic appreciative inquiry approach ise to have them split into pairs to answer the question “Tell me about a time when you got to know and became friends with someone who was different from you. How did it happen? What did you do, what did they do that helped create the friendship? What good things came from your friendship?”
From this initial conversation, we can draw out key lessons, and then build on them toward larger topics. For instance, we might follow with asking them about a time when they felt excluded or devalued, and what they would like to have happened differently, building on the group discoveries on positive relationships across difference.
At this point, they will be ready for application of these insights to whatever diversity topic is up in the community, race, culture, gender, religion, socioeconomics, etc. They can connect their personal experiences to the experiences of others, suggesting ways in which they could make others feel included, valued, and extend friendship. We can even lead them to make commitments on how they will make a special effort to be great new friends to others who seem different.
In the long run, our aim should be to create a society where friendships across difference are the foundation of a culture of mutual respect and support. For me, working with children in laying that foundation should come first, then we can help them deconstruct the problems of discrimination and ill-treatment in the larger community.
