An ongoing discussion of the racial divide refers to “Whites fear being seen through”. Shit, as if we are so skilled at hiding our ignorance, our implicit privilege, our fears and superiority.
What I’ve learned in decades of race and privilege work of all kinds is this: Own that you don’t know squat, ask “stupid questions” and accept the lessons that come, even though you think you know a lot. Speak the truth about what makes you uncomfortable, what you fear, what your heart really desires, and the pain you feel. Show some damn courage and accept that real relationship is messy and imperfect and that our weaknesses are evident and that we come to be loved BECAUSE we are clearly imperfect and we own it and we explicitly work on getting better. THEN we gain the power to speak, to act, to make change and to be the kind of partners others need us to be. No shortcuts, no finessing, no image management games will work. Get the guts to be authentic, wherever you are in your journey, and the people you want to like you will love you and help you and teach you and make you whole.
Or, you can try hiding behind a false persona clothed in political correctness and keep your head down for eternity, and live apart, alone, and unknown, distrusted, dismissed, and disowned by the community whose scorn you fear. It’s our choice, every day.