Writings

All humans inherit stereotypes from our families, friends, teachers, media and more. We absorb them from a very early age, when we are utterly permeable,. and then they are reinforced by continuing messages from those around us. Getting rid of stereotypes can be the work of a lifetime, although the single fastest way to break through these oversimplified, dogmatic beliefs about a group of people is to live in the midst of them, so that we garner a wide range of friends and acquaintances that utterly belie the idea that “they” are all the same in some way. We are, after all, most susceptible to stereotyping about people we have little or no authentic personal experience with.

A simple popular model, which engages individuals on specific instances of stereotypical thinking, is below. The real work is in recognizing and owning to ourselves when stereotypes turn up in our thinking, then examining those thoughts/ideas, considering where in our environment and history they came from and how they affect our interactions and attitudes toward others. Having established that our initial reaction was a stereotype, we can then work see the actual individual(s) in front of us, without the judgements in the stereotype, and proactively discover how we can interact with them authentically for a positive outcome. Over time, we can largely extinguish the stereotype that is stuck in our mind, with enough opportunities for dealing with real people. We may never be perfect, but we can get better and better over time.

Moving Past Stereotypes – A Six Step Approach

1. Acknowledge that stereotypes exist.

2. Identify any stereotypes that you’ve internalized; recognize stereotypical thoughts.

3. Pause and take a second look.

4. Suspend pre-judgment; describe the behavior.

5. Be curious, learn more about the individual or group.

6. Choose behavior that enhances relationships.

There are often very real disconnects across generations in the workplace.  People don’t see the mission the same way, they have radically different approaches to doing the work, they don’t even know how to speak to each other in ways that communicate respect to the other.  It’s not going away, and ignoring these differences is potentially a recipe for misalignment, disengagement, and outright conflict.  So, what to do?

I believe we do best when we take the time to directly discuss our similarities, differences and desires. We naturally fall into parochial mindsets that lead us to believe that everyone else experiences the world the way that we do. When we learn otherwise, it’s an “aha” moment that can lead to very productive conversations, cross-coaching, and deepened relationships.

An exercise to bridge the gaps can be as simple as having people separate by generation and answer, then report out on, questions like “What are the special skills and perspectives that my group brings to the workplace? How can others best draw out the gifts of my group? What I’d love people to do to best engage me or my group at work is… What we know about or see in the workplace that could help others includes…” Of course, each of these can be standalone icebreaker questions. The real key is facilitating a healthy discussion of the answers–giving time and really helping people listen, learn, and deepen relationships. There is enormous potential for multigenerational synergy. It’s a tragedy to waste it.

 I believe that Gen X and Gen Y employees challenge us to raise our game. They have higher standards for management and expect their supervisors and the organization to earn their loyalty through professionalism and human-scale flexibility. If we can do this, we receive enthusiasm, intense attention, innovative contribution, and yes, loyalty. Think what we might have gotten out of their predecessors if our organizations had been more inviting. 

The fondly-held image of us boomers as the paragons of commitment, concentration, and contribution have their exemplars, but that story doesn’t begin to encompass the millions of cynical, bruised, angry and resistant boomers who’ve been treated like expendable resources by U.S. business and industry. They are proof, to me, that expecting employees to “be good soldiers” like the Traditionals and Boomers of old is a self-defeating strategy. 

Of course, the best alternative is a well-integrated, multigenerational workforce that continuously learns from its wealth of different experiences and perspectives. Lacking that, I personally would rather have the opportunity to meet the challenges of working with younger employees who demand some stretch in my style — this old dog might still learn some new tricks.